Lord, in Jeremiah 9:20 you say, "Listen, you women to the words of the Lord. Teach your daughters to wail, teach one another how to lament." Am I refusing to lament real losses like Karis not being able to be a consistently active part of my life? Oh Lord, I groan under this burden. Bring healing to my family, Lord. We worship you for you make the desert bloom with roses... but if it is your will, bring this desert to an end. Give Karis back her health. For a year even. Allow us to recover our strength. But, Lord, you know what is truly best. Help me to trust, to believe and leave the burden in your hands. Thank you that is is not something I'm meant to carry, but you are willing to carry it for me. Yes, Lord, please do so! I thank you, Lord. I worship you! You are so good! I place in your hands the suffering, the pain, the uncertainty that feels like blow after blow to the stomach, leaving me gasping for breath. The unhappiness of not having my family close to me and the anger at what SEEMS like such an unnecessary waste of a lovely, loving famiy. Oh Lord, does it really have to be this way? Protect me from the evil one who I sense slinking in behind that question. Thank you, Lord. Help me to accept your goodness even in the midst of all this! Help me to honor and respect the needs of my family in this next year. And please provide the funds for this new project according to your will. I love you too, Jesus, so much. Lord, help me make this project exactly what you want it to be - a true place of healing for your people. Please, Jesus, do what you want to do, however you want to do it.
Potential timeline:
Today - call the carpenter and the construction worker for the repairs on the house; e-mail Jasiel and Ivone and Marquinhos about spending some time with them learning how their camp and seminary ministry works.
Before I leave for the US Dec. 13th - get reforms done on house; write application for the new "Center of Hope"
When I get back in January - move my things to the back house bedroom, make the upstairs ready for a family of seven.
February and March - family of seven who will be my main helpers move in; I spend those two months visiting any and all ministries I can find in São Paulo that do something like what I want to do in my home by creating the "Center of Hope"; learn from them as much as possible.
April - officially structure the project
May - go to Val K's graduation from Notre Dame; when I get back (if I'm ready) officially open the "Center of Hope"; Geogia's family moves out.
Shape and change this plan according to your will, Lord. In Jesus' name, Amen.
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