Waiting and living, Living and waiting

Funny how I usually write on here when I'm a little moody.  Well, anyway, here goes...

Life is mostly well.  I'm wating for an answer from an interview process at Allegheny General Hospital for an Ambulatory Technician (medical assistant) job.  I guess if God wants me to have it, he'll give it to me, and if not, not.  That's a very comforting thought, given that I'm nervous about either option.  hehe.  I've never particularly wanted to work in a hospital, but this seems like a really good opportunity.

My boyfriend, Mike, and I had a great February 13th.  Haha.  We weren't going to be able to see each other on the 14th so spent yesterday (Sunday) afternoon and evening together.  Also, on the 12th we completed two months of dating, so it seemed appropriate to sort of celebrate both at once.  We're actually not going out for a nice "Valentine's Day" dinner til next weekend, due to some time and energy constraints yesterday.  It means we get to celebrate twice, so to speak :).  Can't really complain.

Life with my family is good.  Sometimes they drive me crazy, living just downstairs and knowing more about my life than any parents have the right to know about a 25-year-old daughter, but for the most part I really enjoy the fellowship with them and we get along well.  I like living with my sister, Valerie, but she's gone most of the time, as she's in a year full-time intensive BSN work.  She should be officially licensed as a nurse by the end of 2011.

Church is really good.  I love Ascension.  Its such a good church and the more I get to know the people and understand the worship style, the more I love it.  We're starting to gear up for their second mission's trip to Brazil (specifically João Pessoa) in July.  I'll be going along as a translator and can't wait to feel the hot sun on my face and shoulders and the white sands under my feet.  I've never been to JP, but have been to the main cities both north (Natal) and south (Recife) of there, and seen pictures, so have a good sense of how beautiful it must be.  Good thing we're going in the winter, since its VERY close to the equator and therefore almost unbearably hot and humid in January.

I guess in a lot of ways I feel like I am in a waiting period... waiting to see what's going to happen with this job, waiting to see how my relationship with my boyfriend develops, waiting for the trip to Brazil, waiting for a special prayer time I'm supposed to have at church on Friday, waiting for my parents to find a house and move and wondering how that'll change my life (especially because I'll be looking for a new roommate), waiting to get my college loan's paid off, waiting to start a masters (either part-time this August, or, maybe full-time in August 2012), waiting for my life to develop into something stable, solid and dependable, which it does not feel to be right now.

Waiting... thank you Lord, for the periods of waiting that tell us who we are and what is truly important to us. Thank you, also and more importantly for your solid presence when all else is liquid.

Loving you, Jesus!

Rachel

Random Thoughts

I find I use this blog for overflow thoughts.  When life is occupying all my mental energy,  I don't write much.  But when I feel restless and want somewhere to go that might - someday - be read by someone, well, here I am.  Ten months since I last wrote.  Well... if anyone's still out there with the heart to listen, read on.

I'm dating this wonderful guy, Mike.  I'm really glad the Lord has brought him into my life.  Wow, such a change since 10 months ago, feeling overburdened in Brazil.  Life still has its challenges, but I'm so overflowed with joy and abundant grace that they don't seem so heavy just now.  Thank you, Jesus, for that.

He's given me a wonderful church community at Ascension in Pittsburgh.  Thank you, Lord, for that.  The 100-year-old building in which we meet may be but a symbol of the richness of the fellowship, but somehow, the place seems hallowed... sanctified by its many years of worshipers, by the countless prayers whispered within its walls, by the many tears and abundant laughs that it has seen.  I can't thank God enough for Church of the Ascension.  Through its rich community He has provided for my every need and more.  Thank you, Jesus.

Yet life seems a little hollow right now... because... well... because Karis is still not well.  Oh, she's better than she has been in weeks.  Yet... we're just waiting for the next disaster.  What a terrible attitude, yes?  One that has been honed by far too many disappointments.  Lord, have mercy.  Christ, have mercy.  Lord, have mercy.  Lord, you speak to me and tell me that my identity is not in this, my calling and career are not to be hindered by this.  May I live into that release, Lord, that freedom, that sense of you in me calling me outward and inward.

Blessed be your name... in the land that is plentiful.